Bromance

Life is a hell of a lot more fun if you say yes rather than no. ~ Richard Branson

“No dark fate determines the future – we do. Each day and each moment, we are able to create and recreate our lives and the very quality of human life on our planet.” ~ His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu

"I couldn’t agree more with this quote. We, as humans, are not only responsible for the future of Earth, but also the happiness we experience while inhabiting it...

These wise words came as the pair sat down over a week to talk about their hardships and successes, and their philosophies of life and love. How I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. Thankfully, Doug Abrams was there to capture their reflections and collect them into The Book of Joy.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu are two of the greatest spiritual and moral leaders of our time. They have been tested by great personal, political and global adversity and struggles, time and time again, yet travel the world to spread a message of joy...

I have been fortunate to have had a number of conversations with the Dalai Lama, and consider myself incredibly privileged to call Arch a dear friend. Both men are among the most infectiously happy and joyous people I have ever met – their love for life and people has definitely rubbed off on me.

After one meeting with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, we were inspired to set up the Branson Centre of Entrepreneurship. Supporting entrepreneurs in developing countries to create and operate sustainable and socially-responsible businesses, the Branson Centre empowers people to pursue their passions and do what makes them happy, and in turn transform the world.

Since working with Virgin Unite to set up The Elders in 2007, I have become great friends with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He has been a huge positive influence in my life, and has taught me so many wonderful lessons. The most important being the power of forgiveness. Alongside our shared friend, the late Nelson Mandela, he set the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which forgave people who had committed atrocities and allowed them to apologise to their victims. One moment that gave me great joy was when Peter Gabriel and I taught Arch to swim on Necker. As Arch relaxed and trusted his body, he was soon swimming confidently.

We had a lot of fun that day and laughed a lot. Arch often has me in stitches, he’s always cracking quips – my favourite is when he says: “People sometimes accuse me of name dropping. Just the other day I was at Buckingham Palace and the Queen turned to me and said 'Arch, you are such a name dropper!'

Both the Dalai Lama and Arch do amazing work to promote human happiness, foster harmony, and preserve a culture of peace and non-violence. As someone who has never subscribed to a particular religion I like to live by the Dalai Lama teaching: “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”

I urge you to buy a copy of The Book of Joy or visit the website for more of the Dalai Lama’s and Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s musings and teachings about joy and happiness. In the meantime, #sharethejoy on social media." ~ Richard Branson

“Many of us have become refugees,” the Dalai Lama tried to explain, “and there are a lot of difficulties in my own country. When I look only at that,” he said, cupping his hands into a small circle, “then I worry.” He widened his hands, breaking the circle open. “But when I look at the world, there are a lot of problems, even within the People’s Republic of China. For example, the Hui Muslim community in China has a lot of problems and suffering. And then outside China, there are many more problems and more suffering. When we see these things, we realize that not only do we suffer, but so do many of our human brothers and sisters. So when we look at the same event from a wider perspective, we will reduce the worrying and our own suffering.”

I was struck by the simplicity and profundity of what the Dalai Lama was saying. This was far from “don’t worry, be happy,” as the popular Bobby McFerrin song says. This was not a denial of pain and suffering, but a shift in perspective -- from oneself and toward others, from anguish to compassion -- seeing that others are suffering as well. The remarkable thing about what the Dalai Lama was describing is that as we recognize others’ suffering and realize that we are not alone, our pain is lessened.

Often we hear about another’s tragedy, and it makes us feel better about our own situation. This is quite different from what the Dalai Lama was doing. He was not contrasting his situation with others, but uniting his situation with others, enlarging his identity and seeing that he and the Tibetan people were not alone in their suffering. This recognition that we are all connected -- whether Tibetan Buddhists or Hui Muslims -- is the birth of empathy and compassion.

I wondered how the Dalai Lama’s ability to shift his perspective might relate to the adage “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” Was it truly possible to experience pain, whether the pain of an injury or an exile, without suffering? There is a Sutta, or teaching of the Buddha, called the Sallatha Sutta, that makes a similar distinction between our “feelings of pain” and “the suffering that comes as a result of our response” to the pain: “When touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed, ordinary person sorrows, grieves, and laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical and mental. Just as if they were to shoot a man with an arrow and, right afterward, were to shoot him with another one, so that he feels the pain of two arrows.” It seems that the Dalai Lama was suggesting that by shifting our perspective to a broader, more compassionate one, we can avoid the worry and suffering that is the second arrow.

“Then another thing,” the Dalai Lama continued. “There are different aspects to any event. For example, we lost our own country and became refugees, but that same experience gave us new opportunities to see more things. For me personally, I had more opportunities to meet with different people, different spiritual practitioners, like you, and also scientists. This new opportunity arrived because I became a refugee. If I remained in the Potala in Lhasa, I would have stayed in what has often been described as a golden cage: the Lama, holy Dalai Lama.” He was now sitting up stiffly as he once had to when he was the cloistered spiritual head of the Forbidden Kingdom.

“So, personally, I prefer the last five decades of refugee life. It’s more useful, more opportunity to learn, to experience life. Therefore, if you look from one angle, you feel, oh how bad, how sad. But if you look from another angle at that same tragedy, that same event, you see that it gives me new opportunities. So, it’s wonderful. That’s the main reason that I’m not sad and morose. There’s a Tibetan saying: ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.’”

~ from “The Book of Joy” Copyright © 2016, The Dalai Lama Trust, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams.