First to Go

“Dilgo Khyentse told me that Rinpoche once said, “I will be the first to go. As you will be the one who remains behind, it will be your responsibility to write my biography.” Rinpoche then opened his chest and took out a scroll of papers wrapped in red brocade. He appeared to want to hand it to Dilgo Khyentse, who was still reeling from the shock that Rinpoche might “be the first to go” and wouldn’t accept it. Instead, Dilgo Khyentse began to tremble. “These papers contain what little information there is about my unique life,” said Rinpoche, continuing to proffer.

I first met Dilgo Khyentse in 1964 when I was twelve years old. From then on, I spent a few months with him every year until 1991, the year he passed into nirvana. Shechen Gyaltsab Gyurme Pema Namgyal was his extraordinary root guru, as it was he who introduced Dilgo Khyentse to the display of intrinsic awareness. Dzongsar Khyentse Chökyi Lodrö was his second main root teacher, and Dilgo Khyentse often spoke about him. Over the years, he told us a great deal about how Rinpoche did things and how he behaved. Dilgo Khyentse rarely said anything about Rinpoche unless he was specifically asked, but when someone showed an interest, he was more than willing to talk with them about Rinpoche, no matter who they were. But I don’t think Dilgo Khyentse told these stories strictly for our benefit; it was more that he just loved talking about Rinpoche.

The same can be said of my father, the Third Neten Chokling. Once he felt comfortable enough with someone to speak candidly, the conversation would always be about Rinpoche. But apart from describing his immense devotion for and pure perception of Rinpoche and their extraordinary teacher-student relationship, I don’t think all my father’s stories can have been firsthand accounts, because he didn’t live at Dzongsar for long enough to have witnessed everything he described.

As a young man, I went to Sikkim on three occasions. My first visit coincided with the passing of Gyaltön Tulku, and that was when I first met Chakdzö Tsewang Paljor. My father and I stayed in room 4 of the King of Sikkim’s state guesthouse, where a man said to have been the private secretary of the previous Khyentse incarnation visited us almost every day. Most people, including former Labrang attendants, seemed a little wary of Tsewang Paljor, but not my father. So I had many opportunities to ask Chakdzö about Rinpoche. And I learnt so much that I met him again during both my subsequent visits.

Khandro had a unique personality. She was quite unlike anyone I have ever known, before or since— she was a real dakini. But she never cared much for those who professed immense devotion and respect for her. However purely they perceived her, however much they appeared to deserve her kindness and even special treatment, the truth was that they annoyed her, so she barely acknowledged their existence. With others, who to our eyes were far less worthy, she was exceptionally friendly and talked quite openly.”

~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, Orgyen Tobgyal, The Life and Times of Jamyang Khyentse Chökyi Lodrö: The Great Biography by Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche and Other Stories