Staring You In The Face

"The feeling that we are separate — outnumbered and under attack — is where the spiritual life begins. It’s the curb you have to step off of to get to the other side. Sensing ourselves as separate is an illusion, but it’s a crafty illusion. We’re not separate at all, but it seems that way. It seems as if all our problems are caused by someone or something else. We were kidnapped at birth and raised by strangers who never loved us. Misjudged by critics and overlooked by higher-ups. Unjustly accused and mistreated. The pawns of a system rigged against us. Ill-favored by fortune, betrayed by our friends, born too soon, born too late, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Undefended against an immutable force that’s either standing in our way or running us over.

I’d been around the block a few times. Been stupid and wised up. Had it all and tossed it out. Made one plan and then another, then another. Lost in love and trusted someone again. And yet I was sinking into the pall of a malignant conviction — that I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for, not today, not next week, maybe never.

I was sinking into the pall of a malignant conviction — that I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for, not today, not next week, maybe never. That was me out there on the curb, looking into all creation, a many-splendored world arrayed at my feet, thinking this isn’t it this isn’t it this isn’t it.

No matter what your story is, whatever your creed, you come to a spiritual practice looking for paradise. It’s a paradise you’ve never seen yet feel as if you’ve lost. The question is whether you’ll recognize it when you’re staring it in the face. You may not be able to change the way you think about yourself and the world...

You can stop believing that all your thoughts are true. Because they aren’t. There is another truth you may never have seen, and with it comes another way to live. It’s called the Way. From the curb you’ll see the gate. From the gate you’ll see the path. From the path you’ll see the ground, and overhead, the sun and moon to light your way. These signposts will bring you to paradise."

-- Karen Maezen Miller s a Zen Buddhist priest and meditation teacher at the Hazy Moon Zen Center in Los Angeles. She is the author of Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life, and Paradise in Plain Sight: Lessons from a Zen Garden.