Prepare to Die

“The most advanced practice for death is simply relaxing into it…

The journey through the bardos is a journey through the mind, so any meditation that allows you to become familiar with your mind will prepare you for death… The most important thing is to prepare. As Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche said of death, “When you have to go to the bathroom, it’s too late to build a latrine…

There are two central themes repeated throughout The Tibetan Book of the Dead, the most important guidebook in Tibetan Buddhism. The first theme is “do not be distracted.” This relates to shamatha, which is the ability to rest your mind on whatever is happening… Shamatha, or calm abiding meditation, is a fundamental form of mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness is a powerful preparation because it does not disintegrate at death. If we cultivate proficiency in this one practice alone, it will act as a spiritual lifeline that we can hold on to during the bardos, and that will guide us through their perilous straits. One of the best preparations for death is learning to accept it and to be fully present for it. Being fully present is the essence of mindfulness, which is developed through shamatha. Because death isn’t comfortable, it’s difficult to be with…

Shamatha with form develops into formless shamatha. This is the ability to rest your mind on whatever arises, not just a specified form. You take off the training wheels and ride smoothly on top of anything. Formless, or nonreferential, shamatha is important because when the body drops away at death, we no longer have any stable forms upon which to place our mindfulness. There’s nothing steady to refer to. At this groundless point, instead of mentally thrashing about trying to find a form to grasp, formless shamatha allows us to rest on any experience without being swept away. It’s not a problem if we don’t have a body to come back to. We simply place our mind on whatever is happening and gain stability from that…

The second main theme in The Tibetan Book of the Dead is that “recognition and liberation are simultaneous.” This relates to vipashyana, the practice of insight meditation. Shamatha pacifies the mind, vipashyana allows us to see it. By seeing our mind more clearly, we’re able to recognize how it works. This helps us relate to it skillfully. In the bardos we’re “forced” to relate to our mind simply because there’s nothing else. Outer world is gone, body is gone, so mind becomes reality. Through insight meditation we discover that whatever arises in the bardos is just the display of our mind. That recognition sets us free…

Instead of taking the terrifying visions of the bardo to be real, and getting caught in the resulting nightmare, we can wake up in the bardos. We do this by recognizing all the appearances to be the display of our own mind… Since you no longer have a body, or any other material object to take refuge in, you take refuge in recognition (awareness) itself. From that awakened perspective it doesn’t matter what happens. It’s all just the display of the mind.

The four reminders, or four thoughts that turn the mind, are an important preparation for death because they turn the mind from constantly looking outward to finally looking within. As with mindfulness, they provide another way to work with distraction. They bring the key instruction “do not be distracted” to a more comprehensive level. The four reminders show us that it’s not just momentary distraction that’s problematic but distraction at the level of an entire life. If we’re not reminded, we can be mindless and waste our whole life.

1.   Contemplate the preciousness of being so free and well favored. This is difficult to gain, easy to lose, now I must do something meaningful.

2.   The whole world and its inhabitants are impermanent. In particular, the life of beings is like a bubble. Death comes without warning, this body will be a corpse. At that time the dharma will be my only help. I must practice it with exertion.

3.   When death comes, I will be helpless. Because I create karma, I must abandon evil deeds and always devote myself to virtuous actions. Thinking this, every day I will examine myself.

4.   The homes, friends, wealth, and comforts of samsara are the constant torment of the three sufferings. Just like a feast before the executioner leads you to your death, I must cut desire and attachment, and attain enlightenment through exertion.

How long should we contemplate these reminders? Until our mind turns. Until we give up hope for samsara, and realize the folly of finding happiness outside… It is often said that the preliminaries are more important than the main practice. The significance of these four reminders, as a preliminary practice, cannot be overstated…

The four thoughts remind us of the preciousness of this human life; that we are going to die; that karma follows us everywhere; and that samsara is a waste of time that only supplies suffering. Memorize them. They will reframe your life, focus your mind, and advise you in everything you do. As Samuel Johnson, the author of the first English dictionary, said, “When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” The Indian master Atisha said, “If you do not contemplate death in the morning, the morning is wasted. If you do not contemplate death in the afternoon, the afternoon is wasted. If you do not contemplate death in the evening, the evening is wasted.” We all know that we’re going to die. But we don’t know it in our guts. If we did, we would practice as if our hair was on fire.

We see others dying all around us but somehow feel entitled to an exemption. In the Hindu epic the Mahabharata, the sage Yudisthira is asked, “Of all things in life, what is the most amazing?” Yudisthira answers, “That a man, seeing others die all around him, never thinks he will die.” If we acknowledge death and use it as an advisor, however, it will prioritize our life, ignite our renunciation, and spur our meditation… He who dies with the most toys still dies. Bring these supreme reminders into your life. Realize that life is like a candle flame in the wind. Visualize friends and family and say, “Uncle Joe is going to die, my sister Sarah is going to die, my friend Bill is going to die, I am going to die.”

Read an obituary every day; go to nursing homes, cemeteries, and funerals. The essence of spiritual practice is remembrance, whether it’s remembering to come back to the present moment or recalling the truth of impermanence. Do whatever it takes to realize that time is running out and you really could die today. You are literally one breath away from death. Breathe out, don’t breathe in, and you’re dead. One of the marks of an advanced student is that they finally realize that today could be the day. As Paul Simon sang, “I’ll continue and continue to pretend that my life will never end . . .”

Take the precious opportunity that has been given to you, and do not waste your life. The four thoughts that turn the mind turn it from reckless spending to wise investing. Invest in your future lives now.  On a personal note, this has been the greatest gift in my study and practice of the bardos. I’m thick-headed but I finally get it: I am going to die—and it could be today. My life has been completely restructured because I now believe it. These reminders may seem like a morbid preoccupation with death, but only because of our extreme aversion to dying…

Lama Zopa Rinpoche writes: The very last thing [the Buddha] left, his very last teaching—like a will that ordinary people leave that talks of worldly things, the most precious things to the ordinary person—the most important and beneficial thing that Shakyamuni Buddha could bequeath, the most important thing for us to realize and understand, is the truth and reality of impermanence . . .

The four reminders, joined with shamatha, instill a strength of mind that benefits both self and other. The Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche taught, “The strength of shamatha is that our mind is slow enough and stable enough to bring in the reality, to really see it. Then when someone we know is dying, we aren’t so shaken up. We may be sad, in the sense of feeling compassion, but we have thoroughly incorporated the notion of death to the point that it has profoundly affected our life. That is known as strength of mind.” That stability naturally radiates to stabilize the mind of the dying person, which helps them when everything is being blown away.

Remember that those left behind are not returning to a party that lasts till infinity. Those left behind are returning to a challenging life that is filled with the three kinds of suffering. As you are dying remember that it’s just a matter of time before everyone else joins you, just as you are about to join the billions of others who have already left this life for another one… No one is going to get out of this alive... With a stable mind cultivated by view and meditation, we can benefit ourselves and others because now we know what to do. This trilogy of view, meditation, and action is a central teaching for how to progress along the spiritual path…

Death is never the enemy. Ignorance and unfamiliarity are the only enemies. Practice and study to defeat this enemy…When the mind is liberated from the body, it is seven to nine times clearer… For example, when you find yourself in the bardo of becoming, you will notice what is happening and you will think, “Oh, wait a second, I have heard about this; let’s see, I’m supposed to do such and such when such and such happens.” And that will obviously benefit you tremendously. . . . [Bardo instructions] are particularly helpful to you at that time when you are in the most danger and are undergoing the most stress and terror—in other words, when you need them the most…

Through our study and practice, we remove the darkness of ignorance that surrounds death and transform fear into fearlessness. This is the job of Manjushri, the deity of wisdom. His wrathful manifestation is called Yamantaka, the “destroyer of Yama.” Do we choose wisdom, which is brilliant and unfamiliar, and wake up? Or confusion, which is cozy and familiar, and fall back asleep? Studying the bardos helps us not only to have a good death but to lead a good life…”

~ Andrew Holecek, Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition