Spiritual Intelligence

“We recognize a fuller, higher expression of humanity when we see one. When we put aside our ideas about what spirituality means, or the preconceptions about religion that may be lodged in our minds from childhood, we find that we have a natural “spiritual compass.” We know what nobility looks like. And the restlessness we feel is the feeling of being drawn towards to the full expression of our own human potential. The question that then remains, is: How do we get there? How do we move from where we are today to being more like Gandhi, Jesus, Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama, or the wise teacher who inspired us as a child? While we have an innate sense of where we need to go, most of us have not been taught the specific skills and abilities we are trying to attain when we seek spiritual growth. Nor have we had any means of measuring where we are on the journey toward developing these skills…

What Is Spiritual Intelligence? Spiritual Intelligence, or “SQ” as it is often abbreviated, is my field of specialization. It relates to the other kinds of intelligence that we may be more familiar with.

When my journey began I knew nothing about multiple intelligence theory or even the now widely accepted notion of Emotional Intelligence… As a human resources manager, I understood all too well the potential sensitivity of bringing anything that sounded remotely like religion into the workplace - especially in Texas, where many people are of a conservative Christian orientation and intense theological debates could be easily sparked. This was when I first began to consider how the new capacities and potentials I was discovering could be translated into universal terms that were free from religious baggage. Later, I came to hypothesize that there should be specific “skills” or competencies that could be identified as contributing to SQ, and even ways to measure these skills scientifically…

My core questions were: can we create a rigorously tested, faith-neutral, professional quality instrument for measuring this powerful skill-set? And will this skill-set indeed show relationship to human development and leadership capacities? The biggest obstacle I faced in my days at Exxon, and still face with many clients today, is the concern about respecting religious diversity. Let me assure you, then, if you share these concerns, that Spiritual Intelligence is distinct from spirituality or religion…

Spirituality, as I define it, is the innate human need to be connected to something larger than ourselves, something we consider to be divine or of exceptional nobility. This means we seek to connect to something larger than our immature ego, our little needs. The innate desire for that connection transcends any particular faith or tradition. It does not require a belief in a divinity by any description, nor does it preclude a belief in God or Spirit or the divine. I believe this innate need to be connected to “something larger” exists in all of us, although some may hear that voice more loudly than others. From time to time, our survival needs may trump our awareness of this call. This is why Abraham Maslow identified “self-transcendence” as one of the universal human needs but placed it at the top of his pyramid, indicating that it might only fully emerge when the lower “subsistence” needs are met.

Religion, as I define it, is a specific set of beliefs and practices, usually based on a sacred text, and represented by a community of people. Religions can support people in their spiritual growth, in the fulfillment of that innate need to connect with something greater than themselves, but it is not the only path to spiritual development. Spiritual Intelligence, as distinct from both spirituality and religion, is a set of skills we develop over time, with practice. It can be developed either within or independent of a religious belief or tradition. The key point to note here, however, is that it does need to be developed. I believe we are all born spiritual, but we are not born spiritually intelligent. Spiritual Intelligence takes work and practice. In the same way, a child may be born with musical talent, but unless she learns the skill of playing an instrument, and practices her art consistently she will not grow up to be a great musician. So what is Spiritual Intelligence? Created with much consideration, my definition of spiritual intelligence is: The ability to behave with wisdom and compassion, while maintaining inner and outer peace, regardless of the situation…

Wisdom and compassion became the two pillars of spiritual attainment that I placed at the center of my new definition. I had found the terms that would allow me to “operationalize” this thing called “love.” They represent to me the best of the heart and the best of the head coming together to create loving behavior. How can we be loving parents? Loving friends? Leaders? Coworkers? How do we serve the world? We serve the world by being wise and compassionate. We must bring a mature mind and a mature heart to our actions. The word “behave” is also critical in my definition. Spiritual Intelligence must show up in our actions and our behaviors. If we see spiritual development only as an inner experience, if we do not embody it in some exterior, visible way, then I would say we have not yet lived up to the spiritual exemplars we so admire.

The final part of the definition refers to the ability to maintain inner and outer peace, regardless of the situation. I have found that this time-honored spiritual ideal is essential if we are going to act from love. We must hold our wisdom and compassion within a larger container of peacefulness. And the reason I specify “inner and outer” is that a lot of people can fake peacefulness on the outside, yet can be anything but peaceful internally. This is not always a bad thing to do in certain circumstances, but it is a tremendous energy drain. I work with a lot of healthcare providers, and observe them doing a fantastic job of maintaining an appearance of outer peace while interacting with difficult or very upset patients and family members. But I also see the toll this takes over time—the fatigue, stress, and burnout that are endemic in this industry. The kind of peace that is the expression of highly developed Spiritual Intelligence is a peace that comes from the inside. Inner peace generates outer peace without creating fatigue or burnout. Inner peace is therefore more genuine, and less likely to be rattled in times of crisis or stress.

The ability to behave with wisdom and compassion, while maintaining inner and outer peace, regardless of the situation.

That is my simple expression of the “ultimate goal” that Maslow was pointing to. I believe it distills the essence of what we find so inspiring and exemplary in those people who are cited, time and time again, as spiritual heroes. And it is a powerful definition, because, it can be broken down into specific “skills” that we can measure, thereby empowering us to take our development into our own hands…

You may be wondering: Isn’t spirituality about accepting things as they are? What about “being in the moment”? I ask you to consider a paradox. I believe goal-orientation is essential for growth, but that we also reach our goal in every step we take during the process of development. We discover our “optimal state” through the process of development itself—through consciously and freely engaging with our own growth and evolution in the way that only humans seem able to do. In fact, because we are evolving beings, our full flourishing may be a moving target. The destination and the journey are intertwined—one helping to define and redefine the other in a magnificent unfolding.

This is the paradox I ask you to hold as we begin. On the one hand, you need to set your sights high enough that it stretches you beyond where you imagine you can go. You need to reach for such a lofty goal that you experience what the mystics have called a “divine discontent,” a restlessness and urgency to be the best you can be. On the other hand, you need to trust the process itself and embrace the present moment fully—too much urgency undermines the peacefulness and the wisdom of the process. It can engender harsh self-judgment, which is the opposite of self-compassion, and leads to unproductive and growth-inhibiting relationships with yourself and with others…

Know that you are perfect just the way you are, and that the unfolding of your fullest and highest self is still in front of you. Feel calm and urgent at the same time. Everything is all right—but don’t stop working on how it can be better. Don’t stop becoming all you can be. In keeping with this paradox, this book doesn’t focus on some static ideal state of “the fully developed human” but on a dynamic process of development. Becoming fully human is not an attainment but a continuous engagement. And the ability to live fully in that engagement is perhaps the most significant spiritual attainment we can aspire to. I have found this to be the key to personal growth."

~ Cindy Wigglesworth, SQ21: The Twenty-One Skills of Spiritual Intelligence