Pretending to Meditate

“After (many) years studying Tibetan Buddhism, occasionally pretending to meditate, I felt desperate. I knew that I really didn’t understand the main point of practice. I was wondering if this path was for me. But I did hear that Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, the main teacher of my friend Brigid, was unsurpassed in giving the pointing out instruction whereby a student could directly experience the nature of their own mind…

It wasn’t until many years later that I found out that Kyabje Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche was an imprtant teacher and close advisor to the 16th Karmapa, that he was largely responsible for the survival of the tradition of the Chokling Tersar complete and intact, and he had transmitted the lineage to most of the greatest teachers in the Nyingma and Karma Kagyu lineages of Tibetan Buddhism. Had I known any of this I might have been too intimidated to go.

Arriving in Nepal, (I was) introduced to Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche. We had tea…

Later, Tulku Urgyen gave a teaching. The teaching he gave was magnificent. Within the context of the Four Dharmas of Gampopa the entire path was laid bare. Yet at the crucial moment, when Rinpoche gave the pointing out instruction, perhaps because I was suffering from a bad combination of excitement and stupidity, I still didn’t get it.

Although I found it incredibly frustrating, to have come so far and yet still miss the point, I was determined to stay on. There was something quite amazing about being in Rinpoche’s presence, as if whatever I did understand about meditation practice was experientially much more available. And while I didn’t get the full benefit of the teaching he gave that day, I sensed that I might be close.

So, I spent the next week at Nagi. Each evening I went to see Rinpoche for instruction. He very lovingly and thoroughly revealed the teachings. For the first few days I was supposed to look for my mind. Each evening I would come and report on what I hadn’t found. Having exhausted myself looking for something that couldn’t be found, Rinpoche gave me the pointing out instruction once again. I will never forget that day as long as I live, maybe longer.

At that moment, I felt like I finally understood the main point of meditation practice, not as a theoretical instruction, but as living experience. Not only that, but something about how Rinpoche’s very presence made it seem plausible that even an ordinary person like me could actually learn, with practice, to be fully present, in natural awareness… I returned each year to receive more teachings from Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche.

Whatever questions you asked Rinpoche always brought the teaching back to the main point of practice, to recognize the nature of mind. He used to joke that he was like a bird that knew how to chirp only one note. I never saw Rinpoche teach from a text. Instead it was like he simply looked at his own mind and through his words and his very being invited you in.

I never remember being bored for a second when I was with him or even having a single thought that wasn’t related to the teaching he was giving. Usually in the late afternoon, just before sunset, I’d enter his tiny bedroom,  with its beautiful picture window looking out across Kathmandu valley, 2000 feet below, and after doing three prostrations I would approach him and he would take my hand and put his head on mine. Actually this alone would have been more than worth the trip to Nepal. I’d get to do it one more time on the way out of the room, how I ever convinced my legs to go to the door at that point is completely a mystery.

The other thing that was simply extraordinary was how accessible he made the most profound instructions. He often said how easy it was to recognize the nature of mind, and while you were with him at least, it seemed that way.

As normal people age it is often the case that their faculties dim and their minds slowly dull. For realized beings it is the opposite, and Tulku Urgyen was a great example of this principle. In the last year or so of his life Rinpoche gave some of his most extraordinary instruction. My own taste of this was in March of 1995. My brother, who was a long time Zen student, came along.

Rinpoche asked my brother about his practice. My brother, whose only experience at that point was with Zen masters, responded one time by clapping his hands, and another by shouting Haaa! Rinpoche seemed completely amused and laughed, in fact the five of us in the room were rolling on the floor laughing. Even Erik Pema Kunsang who is the most transparent translator remarked “Wow! You really are a Zen student.”

When the teaching was over, and we were on patio outside Rinpoche’s room my brother gave me a hug. “You are right your teacher is an extraordinary master. But I don’t understand what everyone is talking about. He is just like a Zen master!” And to be honest, I had never heard Tulku Urgyen teach the pointing out instruction like that before. Then, I remembered (someone) talking about… how when his teacher, Jamyang Khyentse Chokyi Lodro, gave a Sakya teaching he even had the body language of a Sakya master, but when he gave a Nyingma teaching he had the style and manner of the Nyingmapa. That I day I witnessed this kind of manifestation. Even Erik and Marcia who have translated for Rinpoche 100s of times were flabbergasted. This teaching became known as the “Zen Pointing-Out.”

On the last day I went to say goodbye to Rinpoche. After leaving his room I managed to make it down most of the stairs when I turned around and ran back up. When I reached the top Rinpoche was on the patio with Erik looking out over Kathmandu Valley. “Rinpoche,” with tears I blurted out “ I feel like I am making a horrible mistake leaving you.” To which he simply replied “We are never apart.” That was the last time I saw him alive.

According to those who were present at the time of Rinpoche’s death (Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche) Tulku Urgyen passed away by suddenly sitting up in bed and simply saying Ah. He remained in mediation for a day or two. The sky above Kathmandu Valley, normally obscured by a thick brown haze which over the years has rendered the sight of the Anapurna range nearly invisible, displayed the classic sign of the passing of the ultimate Dzogchen master. It was clear blue not even a mote of dust hung in the air."

~ "Erric Solomon was born in Boston, USA and has been studying and practising Buddhism under the guidance of Sogyal Rinpoche since 1984.  Under Rinpoche’s guidance Erric also studied under Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche and Tsikey Chokling Rinpoche in Nepal, and has received teachings from many of the most accomplished Tibetan teachers of the last 30 years.

Erric worked in Silicon Valley, California as vice president of software engineering in one of the world’s largest software companies, before he moved to France in 2006 to do the Three Year Retreat in Lerab Ling.  Since the end of 2009 he has been an Executive Director of Rigpa International, where his management experience and his Dharma knowledge are brought to bear.  Erric directs the department of Educational Resources and plays a key role in curriculum development. Under Sogyal Rinpoche’s guidance, he has been directing the devlopment What Meditation Really Is, a new dynamic approach which combines a blog, online access to teachings, courses given in Buddhist centres and an online course in order to offer meditation instruction to as broad an audience as possible. Erric is especially interested in developing Public Programmes and exploring ways of communicating the principals of Buddhism outside of a traditional Buddhist context."

“The special connection between His Eminence Tsikey Chokling Rinpoche and Kyabje Tenga Rinpoche in his present incarnation goes back to the time of Chokling Rinpoche‘s father Kabje Urgyen Tulku Rinpoche. Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche and Tenga Rinpoche acted alternately as each other’s dharma teacher and student, and were close and dearest friends at the same time.
Tulku Urgyen was an extraordinary Dzogchen Master and the main lineage holder of the Chokling Tersars. He was also one H.H. the 16 Karmapa’s gurus.

The Chokling Tersar lineage is strongly connected with the Karma Kagyu lineage, thus a lot of practices from the Tersar are nowadays „standard repertoire“ of the Karma Kagyu lineage. It was Tulku Urgyen himself who transferred the heart essence of the Chokling Tersar to Tenga Rinpoche, whereupon Tenga Rinpoche asked Chokling Rinpoche in 1996 to bestow the complete Chokling Tersar empowerment cycle at the Benchen Phuntsok Dargyeling monastery in Kathmandu. The ceremonies lasted several months, and thousands of people received the blessings during that time.

Chokling Rinpoche recalls this event in his book “Lotus Ocean” as follows:  “The most precious master, Tenga Rinpoche, a very rare master indeed – learned, honorable and noble – who has reached perfection in learning, reflection and meditation, expressed an incomparable devotion for Chogyur Lingpa`s Terma tradition. It honestly scared me to take the position of vajra master in his presence, be placed on a lofty throne and go through the motions of empowerments and reading transmissions. All the while, he honored this tradition by painstakingly and selflessly providing every possible requirement for the ceremonies."