I Have No Shame

"Hey, nice to meet you!
Check out these recent photos
As I have no shame

Coffee, coffee stat
Microwaving steadily
Until wine o’clock

Head-sniffing is a
Perfectly decent pastime
Please don’t squirm away

Laundry everyday
Stain removal like a boss
Chocolate or poop?

Mommy’s on her knees
Cleaning under your high chair
For the millionth time

Diaper-changing fun
Can you hold still for Mommy?
Assistance denied

Discipline lingo:
I hear that you’re frustrated
Knives are not for kids

Repeat after me:
Even if I lose my sh*t
I can still love deep

Dad’s going potty
Intestinal distress? Or
scrolling on iPhone?

Still nursing? OK.
Nobody is judging you
(Or maybe they are)

Big plans during naps
Now I’m paralyzed with choice
So, alas, Facebook

F*ck, is he asleep?
Thank the Lord, almighty God
Let’s look at photos

I hear crying. You?
Wait, is that the neighbor kid?
Thank God, pass the wine

Who am I again?
Individuality
On the back burner

Belly is soft now
But sloppy baby kisses
Are softer yet (yum)"

— Jolie Jenkins writes about her ridiculous adventures in motherhood, showbiz and cooking on her blog Joeycake.

Photo by Jolie Jenkins.