Joke

"A doctor, a nurse and the president of an HMO were standing with St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asks the doctor why he believes he should be given entrance to heaven. The doctor replies that he has worked his whole career to heal and treat people. St. Peter allows the doctor into heaven. St. Peter turns to the nurse and asks why she should be given entrance to heaven. The nurse replies that her whole career she was right there along side the doctor taking of the patient and making them as comfortable as was possible. St. Peter allows the nurse into heaven. St. Peter next asks the president of the HMO why he believed he should be given entrance into heaven. The HMO president replies that he was right there with the doctor and the nurse making sure these procedures were affordable. St. Peter opens the pearly gates as he tells the HMO president "Okay, but you can only stay for two days."

"Dear President Bush:

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment to codify marriage on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe. (Gen.38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)"