Transcend Self

“The hut, the meditation path and the little platform under the phayom tree were Mae Chee Kaew’s constant companions throughout the year. Except for her daily meal, she seldom left the confines of her meditation environment…

Mae Chee Kaew had learned to examine phenomena using the specific perceptions of consciousness in tandem with the expansive awareness of intrinsic mental essence. She realized that consciousness flowed naturally from the mind essence to initiate perceptual activity. And perceptions were defined and interpreted by the mind’s conceptual movement, which had its origin in the motionless essence. So she focused exclusively on the moment that the conscious flow stirred and emerged from the stillness of her mind’s vital center…

Mae Chee Kaew realized that the true mind had no form, and formed no conceptions. By spontaneously observing phenomena with clear mindfulness, she attained freedom from conceptual thinking, which allowed the knowing essence to relinquish mental constructs before they could establish a definite presence in the mind’s conscious continuum. Before a particular thought or expression could fully form, the knowing essence simply let go, causing mental formations to dissolve into nothingness. Eventually, the detached nature of the mind’s true essence became so all-encompassing that the multitude of conscious expressions failed to take hold, dissolving before its still, potent immanence.

At that stage, Mae Chee Kaew’s mind resembled a battlefield where the forces of conscious existence were pitted against the all-embracing essence, which encompassed everything, but retained nothing. As profound emptiness constantly dissolved countless forms of emerging existence, the mind’s knowing essence gained the upper hand, increasing in brightness and purity. When insight thoroughly penetrated the illusory nature of mental phenomena, the knowing essence relinquished all concepts, fully recognizing that they were merely ripples inside the mind and had no real substance. No matter how they appeared mentally, they were just conditioned forms — conventions of the mind that simply vanished into emptiness. There were no exceptions.

Mae Chee Kaew’s meditation was destroying mental patterns that have dominated saṁsāric existence for eons. Not a single thought managed to rise or form, indicating that true, spontaneous mindfulness was born. The mind’s spontaneous observation was pure, undiluted attention, that led naturally to clear and penetrating insight. When the mind understands clearly with intuitive wisdom that no self can be found within mental phenomena, liberating detachment occurs of its own accord. As the mind’s focus grows narrower, the currents sent out by the mind grow shorter and more limited. Mae Chee Kaew had investigated and understood conceptual phenomena so thoroughly that the clear, bright essence no longer made conscious contact with them. Thought and imagination within the mind had come to a complete halt. The mind’s essential knowing nature stood out alone, on its own.

Except for an exceedingly refined awareness — an awareness that suffused the entire cosmos — absolutely nothing appeared. Mind transcended conditions of time and space. A luminous essence of being that seemed boundless, yet wondrously empty, permeated everything throughout the universe. Everything seemed to be filled by a subtle quality of knowing, as if nothing else existed. Cleansed of the things that clouded and obscured its all-encompassing essence, her mind revealed its true power.

When the offshoots of delusion were completely cut, her mind converged into a nucleus of sublime radiance — a radiance so majestic and mesmerizing that Mae Chee Kaew felt certain it signaled the end of all suffering that she had been striving to attain. Having relinquished all attachment to the factors of personal identity, the subtle radiant splendor at the center of the mind became her sole remaining focus. The focal point of her awareness was so exceedingly delicate and refined as to be indescribable, and emitted a happiness that was unprecedented and so wondrous that it seemed to entirely transcend the realm of conditioned phenomena. The luminous mind exuded a strong sense of power and invulnerability. Nothing seemed capable of affecting it. Mae Chee Kaew was now certain that she had finally reached the ultimate goal, Nibbāna.

By the middle of October 1952 the phayom tree was in full and radiant bloom. Sitting beneath it one afternoon, her mind awash in splendor, Mae Chee Kaew felt the time was right to inform Ajaan Mahā Boowa about her crowning achievement. He was, after all, the inspiration that had led her to this profound majestic radiance of mind. It was time she repaid his confidence in her with the fruits of her triumph. As it was a lunar observance day, she went to visit him late in the afternoon. She left the nunnery with several nuns as companions, walking together through the fields that rimmed the village until they reached the other side. From there they began the steep climb to Ajaan Mahā Boowa’s mountain cave.

Seeing Ajaan Mahā Boowa seated at the cave’s entrance, Mae Chee Kaew prostrated before her teacher to pay obeisance and exchanged greetings with him. She then bowed her head, pressed her palms together and asked permission to speak. She spoke of her progress over the past year, carefully detailing the consecutive stages of her experience, and concluded with her “lion’s roar”, the radiant emptiness of mind that permeated the entire cosmos and transcended all conditions.

When she stopped speaking, Ajaan Mahā Boowa looked up and calmly asked, “Is that all?” Mae Chee Kaew nodded. Ajaan Mahā Boowa paused for a moment and then spoke:

“When you investigate mental phenomena until you go beyond them completely, the remaining defiling elements of consciousness will be drawn into a radiant nucleus of awareness, which merges with the mind’s naturally radiant essence. This radiance is so majestic and mesmerizing that even transcendent faculties like spontaneous mindfulness and intuitive wisdom invariably fall under its spell. The mind’s brightness and clarity appear to be so extraordinary and awe-inspiring, that nothing can possibly compare. The luminous essence is the epitome of perfect goodness and virtue, the ultimate in spiritual happiness. It is your true, original self — the core of your being. But this true self is also the fundamental source of all attachment to being and becoming. Ultimately it is attachment to the allure of this primordial radiance of mind that causes living beings to wander indefinitely through the world of becoming and ceasing, constantly grasping at birth and enduring death.

“The fundamental cause of that attachment is the very delusion about your true self. Delusion is responsible for all the defiling elements of consciousness, and its avenue of escape is the ongoing momentum of conscious activity. In this sphere, delusion reigns supreme. But once mindfulness and wisdom are skilled enough to eliminate conscious activity and therefore close this outlet, delusions created by the flow of mental phenomena cease. Severing all of its external outflows leaves delusion no room to maneuver inside the mind, forcing it to gather into the radiant nucleus from which all knowing emanates. That center of knowing appears as a luminous emptiness that truly overwhelms and amazes.

“But that radiant emptiness should not be mistaken for the pure emptiness of Nibbāna. The two are as different as night and day. The radiant mind is the original mind of the cycle of constant becoming; but it is not the essence of mind which is fully pure and free from birth and death. Radiance is a very subtle, natural condition whose uniform brightness and clarity make it appear empty. This is your original nature beyond name and form. But it is not yet Nibbāna. It is the very substance of mind that has been well-cleansed to the point where a mesmerizing and majestic quality of knowing is its outstanding feature. When the mind finally relinquishes all attachment to forms and concepts, the knowing essence assumes exceedingly refined qualities. It has let go of everything — except itself. It remains permeated by a fundamental delusion about its own true nature. Because of that, the radiant essence has turned into a subtle form of self without you realizing it. You end up believing that the subtle feelings of happiness and the shining radiance are the unconditioned essence of mind. Oblivious to your delusion, you accept this majestic mind as the finished product. You believe it to be Nibbāna, the transcendent emptiness of pure mind.

“But emptiness, radiance, clarity and happiness are all subtle conditions of a mind still bound by delusion. When you observe the emptiness carefully, with sustained attention, you will observe that it is not really uniform, not really constant. The emptiness produced by primal delusion is the result of subtle conditions. Sometimes it changes a little — just a little — but enough for you to know that it’s transient. Subtle variations can be detected, because all conditioned phenomena — no matter how refined, bright and majestic they seem — invariably manifest some irregular symptoms.

“If it is truly Nibbāna, why does this refined state of the mind display a variety of subtle conditions? It is not constant and true. Focus on that luminous center to see clearly that its radiance has the same characteristics — of being transient, imperfect and unessential — as all the other phenomena that you have already transcended. The only difference is that the radiance is far more subtle and refined. “Try imagining yourself standing in an empty room. You look around and see only empty space — everywhere. Absolutely nothing occupies that space — except you, standing in the middle of the room. Admiring its emptiness, you forget about yourself. You forget that you occupy a central position in that space. How then can the room be empty? As long as someone remains in the room, it is not truly empty. When you finally realize that the room can never be truly empty until you depart, that is the moment when that fundamental delusion about your true self disintegrates, and the pure, delusion-free mind arises.

“Once the mind has let go of phenomena of every sort, the mind appears supremely empty; but the one who admires the emptiness, who is awestruck by the emptiness, that one still survives. The self as reference point, which is the essence of all false knowing, remains integrated into the mind’s knowing essence. This self-perspective is the primary delusion. Its presence represents the difference between the subtle emptiness of the radiant mind and the transcendent emptiness of the pure mind, free of all forms of delusion. Self is the real impediment. As soon as it disintegrates and disappears, no more impediments remain. Transcendent emptiness appears. As in the case of a person in an empty room, we can say that the mind is truly empty only when the self leaves for good. This transcendent emptiness is a total and permanent disengagement that requires no further effort to maintain.

“Delusion is an intrinsically blind awareness, masquerading as radiance, clarity and happiness. As such, it is the self ’s ultimate safe haven. But those treasured qualities are all products of subtle causes and conditions. True emptiness occurs only when every single trace of one’s conditioned reality disappears. “As soon as you turn around and know it for what it is, that false awareness simply disintegrates. Clouding your vision with its splendor, that luminous deception has all along been concealing the mind’s true, natural wonder.”

~ Mae Chee Kaew Her Journey to Spiritual Awakening and Enlightenment
Compiled from Thai sources & written by Bhikkhu Dick Sīlaratano

"Mae Chee Kaew (1901-1991) was a countrywoman, who lived a simple village life in the northeastern region of Thailand and overcame enormous difficulties in her attempt to leave home and follow the Buddha's noble path. Blessed with the good fortune to meet the most renowned meditation masters of her era, Mae Chee Kaew took their teachings on meditation to heart, diligently cultivating a mind of clear and spontaneous awareness. her persistence, courage, and intuitive wisdom enabled her to transcend conventional boundaries--both those imposed upon her by the world and those limiting her mind from within--and thereby find release from birth, ageing, sickness and death. Mae Chee Kaew is one of the few known female arahants of the modern era and testimony to all being that regardless of race, gender or class, the Buddha's goal of supreme enlightenment is still possible." ~ Back Cover