Melted Cookie

Mysteries are feminine; they like to veil themselves
but still want to be seen and divined.
~Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

"I would tell myself I was living the life of my dreams, that I didn’t “need” a man. But then those old familiar longings would unexpectedly surface, and at the most inopportune times...

I was greeted with an unexpected and very personal hug by a woman in her mid-thirties who, though clearly American, looked like she had just stepped out of a painting of an Indian Goddess. She pressed her lower belly up against mine for an uncomfortable moment, and, as we pulled apart, she grabbed my hands, opened her eyes as wide as she could, and stared deeply into mine. It felt like she was trying to say, “I am a deep and soulful person. Can you see that?” All I could see was that she was weird. She wore a long flowing skirt, was obviously not wearing a bra (the hug gave that away), and had a small blue jewel stuck between her eyes...

However, despite her “woo-wooness” and my own inner commentary, in the final hours of the weekend I touched on something I’ll never forget―my authentic feminine essence. In that moment of transformation, I felt myself shift internally from trying to be noticed as a strong, attractive woman to one who is seen as a source of radiant beauty and love that would fill any room. If you had been in the same room with me, you would have seen my physical body soften and relax as I felt my core strength build within me. I looked petite on the outside, but if you had tried to push me over I would have stayed solid as a rock, with little effort or resistance on my part. All my senses were heightened. My awareness expanded to the whole room rather than just what was in front of me. My movement became fluid, and I felt a huge amount of energy in my belly, hips, and pelvis. My physical power sank deeper into my body. Rather than feeling the need to puff my shoulders up to be strong, I felt like I was the base of an iceberg―vast, deep, stable, and secure.

Before this moment, I had been fearful of appearing too feminine or too sensual because I didn’t want to have to deal with unwanted attention from men—what if they wanted something from me that I did not want to give? I was scared around females too—would they judge my self-love and self-expression as arrogance? But once I connected to my feminine essence, I felt safe to express all of who I was, no matter what anyone else might think. My “tough cookie” exterior that had been determined to have men understand that I did not “need” them began to melt away, and what replaced it was not submissive insecurity but a newfound powerful vulnerability that opened my heart."

~ Rachael Jayne Groover, Powerful and Feminine: How to Increase Your Magnetic Presence and Attract the Attention You Want