Little Flower

I can nourish myself on nothing
but truth.
-- ST. THERESE OF LISIEUX

“Springtime story of a little white flower written by herself and dedicated to the Reverend Mother…

God  was pleased all through my life to surround me with love, and the first memories I have are stamped with smiles and the most tender caresses. But although He placed so much love near me, He also sent much love into my little heart, making it warm and affectionate. I loved Mama and Papa very much and showed my tenderness for them in a thousand ways, for I was very expressive. The means I employed at times were strange, as this passage from one of Mama’s letters proves:

“Baby is a little imp; she’ll kiss me and at the same time wish me to die. ‘Oh, how I wish you would die, dear little Mother!’ When I scold her she answers: ‘It is because I want you to go to heaven, and you say we must die to get there!’ She wishes the same for her Father in her outbursts of affection for him.”
And here’s a passage from a letter:

“Little Thérèse asked me the other day if she would go to Heaven. I told her ‘Yes’ if she were good. She answered: ‘Yes, but if I’m not good, I’ll go to hell. But I know what I will do. I will fly to you in Heaven, and what will God be able to do to take me away? You will be holding me so tightly in your arms!’ I could see in her eyes that she was really convinced that God could do nothing to her if she were in her mother’s arms.”

I was very fond of my godmother. Without appearing to do so, I paid close attention to what was said and done around me. It seems to me I was judging things then as I do now. I was listening carefully to what Marie was teaching Céline in order to do what Céline did. After Marie came out of the Visitation, to obtain permission to go into the room where she was giving Céline her lessons, I was very good and did everything she wanted. She gave me a lot of gifts, and in spite of their insignificant value these pleased me a lot…

I was very proud of my two sisters, but the one who was my ideal from childhood was Pauline. When I was beginning to talk, Mama would ask me: “What are you thinking about?” and I would answer invariably: “Pauline!” Another time, I was moving my little finger over the window panes and I said: “I’m writing Pauline!” I had often heard it said that surely Pauline would become a religious, and without knowing too much about what it meant I thought: “I too will be a religious.” This is one of my first memories and I haven’t changed my resolution since then!...

I dreamed one night I went to take a walk all alone in the garden. When I reached the foot of the steps leading to the garden and which have to be climbed to get into it, I stopped, seized with fright. In front of me, near the arbor, there was a barrel of lime and on this barrel two frightful little devils were dancing with surprising agility in spite of the flatirons they had on their feet.

All of a sudden they cast fiery glances at me and at the same moment appeared to be more frightened than I was, for they jumped from the barrel and went to hide in the laundry that was just opposite. Seeing they weren’t so brave, I wanted to know what they were going to do, and I went up to the window. The poor little devils were there, running on the tables, not knowing what to do to hide from my gaze. Sometimes they approached the window, looking out to see if I was still there and seeing me there they began running like madmen.

This dream, I suppose, has nothing extraordinary about it, and still I believe God permitted me to remember it in order to prove to me that a soul in the state of grace has nothing to fear from demons who are cowards, capable of fleeing before the gaze of a little child!...

All the details of my Mother’s illness are still present to me and I recall especially the last weeks she spent on earth. Céline and I were like two poor little exiles, for every morning Mme. Leriche came to get us and brought us to her home where we spent the day. One morning we didn’t have time to say our prayers and during the trip Céline whispered: “Should we tell her we didn’t say our prayers?” “Oh! yes,” I answered. So very timidly Céline told Mme. Leriche, who said: “Well, my little girls, you will say them,” and placing us both in a large room, she left.

Céline looked at me and we said: “Oh! this is not like Mama! She always had us say our prayers with her.” When we were playing with the children, the thought of our dear Mother was with us constantly. Once Céline was given a beautiful apricot, and she bent down and said to me: “We are not going to eat it; I will give it to Mama.” Alas, poor little Mother was already too sick to eat the fruits of the earth; she was to be satisfied only in heaven with God’s glory and was to drink the mysterious wine He spoke about at the Last Supper, saying He would share it with us in His Father’s Kingdom. The touching ceremony of the last anointing is also deeply impressed on my mind. I can still see the spot where I was by Céline’s side.

All five of us were lined up according to age, and Papa was there too, sobbing. The day of Mama’s departure or the day after, Papa took me in his arms and said: “Come, kiss your poor little Mother for the last time.” Without a word I placed my lips on her forehead. I don’t recall having cried very much, neither did I speak to anyone about the feelings I experienced. I looked and listened in silence. No one had any time to pay any attention to me, and I saw many things they would have hidden from me.

For instance, once I was standing before the lid of the coffin which had been placed upright in the hall. I stopped for a long time gazing at it. Though I’d never seen one before, I understood what it was. I was so little that in spite of Mama’s small stature, I had to raise my head to take in its full height. It appeared large and dismal.”

~ St. Therese of Lisieux was a French Catholic Discalced Carmelite nun who is widely venerated in modern times. She is popularly known as "The Little Flower of Jesus" or simply "The Little Flower". Thérèse has been a highly influential model of sanctity for Catholics and for others because of the "simplicity and practicality of her approach to the spiritual life". Together with Saint Francis of Assisi, she is one of the most popular saints in the history of the church.