"In the beginning as you familiarize yourself with processing, you will find the opposites technique very helpful in defining your issues. It is an excellent idea when you have finished your list and have found the opposites to go back through the list to try to find a general theme for it. Find the pair or pairs of opposites that seem to best encapsulate your process or that have the biggest charge on them for you. Write these words at the top of your journal page next to the date, so in the future you can trackwhere your processing has taken you. Doing this allows you to see how the onion layers have peeled off over time and to gain a larger perspective on the unfoldment of your awakening process.
For example, Paul of the freeway incident decided the key to this particular story was the CONTROL–OUT OF CONTROL polarity, because most of the behaviors and emotions in his story, like anger, came from a place of being upset that he had no control over the situation. He wrote these words in large letters at the top of his journal entry next to the date. Now, whenever he does a process about control issues, he can always go back and refer to this old list he created, to help fill in any missing pieces.
Usually the themes you will use to title your page are very basic polarities which are a part of any person’s personality. They run very deeply in everyone— themes like VICTIM – TYRANT or APPROVAL – DISAPPROVAL or MASCULINE – FEMININE. It helps to be on the lookout for these deeply rooted structures as you investigate your own patterning.
When doing the polarity work, it is important to take your time in finding all the right opposites. You want to feel your way into each word as deeply as you can. Each word is a vibration and is a state of consciousness. If you can’t find an opposite to a word, it is best to meditate on it and pray for help, rather than skimming over it superficially. Sometimes this extra effort will give you your biggest breakthroughs. Not being able to find an opposite is a clue that this state is deeply buried in the unconscious. When an opposite is hidden in that way, it means that you probably act unconsciously in instances involving that polarity; it indicates you are being run by egoic patterning—like a computer program. It is an area where you probably tend to get your buttons pushed.
Paul’s example is a good one for this. If you recall, one of the words on his list was indignation. He could not think of any word that would fit as an opposite for it. When he meditated on it for a while, he realized it was an unconscious area for him. He knew that this was a good indicator that he is probably a bit unbalanced in this area. In his inner probing, he realized that he felt trapped by this issue of feeling indignant, of feeling angry when treated unfairly. After meditating on what the opposite to indignation is and feeling into it for several minutes unsuccessfully, he finally gave up trying to think of a word. Instead, he got out his dictionary of synonyms and antonyms to look it up. There was a list of over a dozen words as opposites to indignant, out of which he chose imperturbability, which means unshakable calmness.
That word resonated very clearly and held the exact opposite vibration for him. In fact, as soon as he read the word, he reported that he felt an immediate mental shift take place. Paul also said that before he wrote about the story, when it was just floating around in his head, he didn’t see how he was feeling indignant. It wasn’t until he wrote the story and got stuck at finding its opposite that he actually saw his feelings of indignation and anger at believing he was right and she was wrong. He didn’t realize he had such a charge on this particular feeling. He realized there were many, many instances throughout his life in which he ended up feeling indignant—angry and victimized by apparently unjust circumstances - and each time, his reaction of blame and rage and powerlessness in the face of life’s cruelty was like an old broken record repeating itself. In finding the opposite unconscious side, some kind of magical shift happened for him, which allowed him to let go of the intensity of the situation and to not make it so real. If he had glossed over the incident as too insignificant to process and if he had not taken the time to find the right opposite for all the words on his list, he would never have had such a big breakthrough.
It is important to offer up both sides of the polarity, not just the negative side. You will only get a shift if you offer up both negative and positive. For example, let’s say you are living out one side of a situation, like the victim. The other side, the oppressor, is in the unconscious and is being acted out for you by some petty tyrant, like your boss. You think, “Oh, I’ve had enough of being a powerless victim. I want change. I want to be powerful. I want to be the boss.” Unless you ask to be released from both sides, the victim and the oppressor, the change you will get is a flip to the other side of the polarity. You will find yourself somehow living out an experience of the oppressor next. Either that, or you will find that some other oppressor shows up to pester you.
The secret is that you find the opposite side because that is the hidden side. As long as there is a piece hidden, the polarity will not integrate. There are many teachings that emphasize being positive all of the time. And that is fine if we are willing to or desiring to stay in the separate state, where we are still conscious and unconscious. Trying to be positive all the time is a good beginning, especially if our conditioning has taught us to be negative a lot. If the ego were a deck of positive and negative cards, the technique of trying to think and feel positive all the time would be a bit like reshuffling the deck to try to get a better hand. But if we are seeking to ascend, we have to address both sides, negative and positive. We have to be willing to detach from both sides. We cannot hold on to the positive and try to get rid of the negative. Doing that keeps us locked into the separate system because we seek with the conscious mind to have only positive experiences. The attraction and repulsion traps us.
As you do this work, you will learn to become more and more aware, mindful and in your witness all the time. You will find that it is a very pleasant state of being, very centered, balanced, relaxed and joyful. From this place there is an easeful moving into greater and greater states of clarity as you pass through the veils of negative ego. It is especially helpful after the processing and shifting are complete to be aware of what we have come to call simulations or set-ups. Usually after you have finished your offering and have cleared an issue, you will be offered one of these. They are simply little tests of some kind to give you an opportunity to really pass through the veil completely…
The difference between processing a square in your journal and living out in the physical world the experiences associated with the desires and fears of the square is a time factor. It could take you a few minutes or hours to do the square. It could take you a decade or more to live out the square from a place of unconsciousness. In the course of life, people are living out squares all the time without knowing it. The reason we would choose to do the square is because our prime objective is to move our destiny forward on a fast path toward spiritual awakening in one lifetime, rather than to live unconsciously according to the turning of the cycles associated with the square, which could span many lifetimes and include a lot of suffering. And while living out the square in the physical may include interesting learning experiences, gradually building knowledge and awareness, it would delay our opportunity to reach clarity and the unified state. This is not a judgment of whether it is good or bad to live out the square in the physical world.
Sometimes it is one’s destiny to live out certain experiences physically, and other times it is not necessary. It is a soul’s choice, and doing the square in a journal rather than living out a square in the physical is simply based on a different motive and intention for one’s life—to clear attachments, rather than to fulfill egoic desires and to avoid fears.”
1. Find a theme to your story
2. Find all the right opposites
3. Offer up positive and negative
4. Experience a simulation
• Ask for grace to help you remain in the
neutral witness
• Say, “I am not this. I am That.”
5. Squares are loops in consciousness.
6. Get creative with the tools.”
~ The Marriage of Spirit : Enlightened Living in Today's World: by Leslie Temple Thurston
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