Tulsi Amma

"In my previous birth I was born as a cruel animal. For my survival I used to kill any living being that I came across in the jungle. I killed mothers and poor orphaned babes. And sometimes I killed these babies to quench my hunger. I sometimes killed a husband and destroyed a happy family. In this way, by hurting many, I used to rule the jungle. I was very proud of my cruel deeds. My heinous acts were famous and people avoided the jungle due to my reputation. Noticing me at a distant people ran to save their lives and I, without any concern for weak and small, ran amuck killing whomsoever I came across.

I saw a beautiful deer and killed her instantly, leaving her four calves orphaned. One day a king and his army entered the jungle on a hunting spree. Noticing me the King chased after me with his bow and arrow. His retinue stayed behind. So, he was separated from his men. Several arrows were aimed at me but all in vain. Finding him alone I roared in anger and pounced on him. I killed him in one stoke. I then killed all his men.

Several days passed with me actively involved in this pastime of killing. Then one day a serene looking Yogi entered the jungle. Absorbed in the Atman, he unexpectedly crossed my path. Obsessed by killing harmless people, I ran up to him with an aim to kill him. Noticing my beastly ignorance, this Yogi smiled and opened his eyes. He said to me, "Just give a thought to who you and I are. Know that it is One subtle essence in both of us. Everything which is seen is illusion. Just be aware of your origin. On knowing it you will have no reason for ego. Then there shall be no cycle of birth and death."

Hearing these words of supreme wisdom, there was instant silence within me. From a cruel angry monster, I was transformed into a creature meeker than a dog and I entered into deep thinking. On hearing these enlightened words, I repented for my past actions. I wanted this Yogi's Grace and I surrendered at his feet. The encounter with this Sage bore spontaneous fruit, melting away my cruel nature.

How can evil stand against divine power? He who was the fountainhead of infinite peace, bestowed his Grace on me. By the very touch of his divine feet, all of my base nature disappeared. With great humility I surrendered to him. With the dawn of knowledge, my ignorance vanished. He understood my thought process which had resulted from this transformation. The Endless One assured me, "The effect of your deeds (karmas) has to be borne by you. Indeed you will have to take another birth. You will be born in a rich family. But do not get entangled in worldly matters. Merge your mind and being in this Endless One and attain eternal peace. Live in the world doing your ordained duties and, by discrimination, realize that this world is just an illusion. In service of all you shall realize the ultimate truth. Do not ever worry for you shall be ever protected by Shri Hari (God)."

Assuring me in this way, he placed his divine hand on my head. No sooner had his hand touched my head than a most astonishing thing occurred. Tears started flowing from my eyes, and the monster that I was, fell at his divine feet. Soon my soul left my body and with it went what was ordained by the Yogi. I took a birth as a helpless woman to suffer my Prarabdha Karma, the effects of my past deeds. It just so happened that the king who I had killed became my husband in this life. He was a great support in my spiritual journey. His name was Shankar. My son was called Gangadhar. There were four other short-lived children. Sixth was a beautiful daughter. She was the deer whom I had killed. There was a sister named Devaki, who took care of me. The army of the King that I wiped out were born again and, though they appeared as friends, troubled me in every possible way. I have a dear brother called Anandu. I ever bow to him, my Nityananda. He alone has compassion for me. There is one eternal bond between us."

~ “Tulsi Amma was a class apart. Bhagawan Nityananda himself declared her to be "One who has seen the Sun," meaning that she had realized the eternal Bliss of the Absolute, that she had gone across. If this is how Bade Baba described her, any words that I use here pale in comparison. In our house, her photo has been kept for worship on our altar. It is Tulsi Amma who recorded Bhagawan Nityananda's words whenever he spoke while in deep trance. These utterances were compiled in a book called the Chidakasha Gita. The name "Chidakasha Gita" was approved by Bade Baba and the book was originally written in Kanada. It is because of Tulsi Amma that we have the teachings of Bhagawan Nityananda available to us. The original Chidakasha Gita was translated into English, unedited, by Mr. Mangalore Sanjeeva Kamath of Mahim, Mumbai. He was a great devotee of Baba.

Very little is known about Tulsi Amma and those who know about her are no more. Although she wrote several books, she never mentioned her name as author of those books nor did she reveal anything about herself. I am sharing what I remember from the discussions that I heard from my elders, and from her book of Bhajans entitled Atmaspuran (inspiration from the soul).

Tulsi Amma was from Mangalore in South India and must have met Bhagawan Nityananda in early 1920. She was a young widow at the time. In those days life for a widow in India was very difficult and painful. In that pain she turned to God. She belonged to the community of Gowda Saraswati Brahmins and took to the monkhood. This enabled her to wear janava (holy thread) and perform Sandhya Vandana, the ritual usually only performed by Brahmin men. She wore a white sari as a widow is supposed to wear and she kept her head covered. She was fluent in the Konkani, Kanada and Marathi dialects.

Tulsi Amma was also known as Anandi. She met Swami Nityananda in Mangalore. Bhagawan Nityananda lived in the Avadoota state, completely absorbed in his own being. He lived a carefree life like a small child. It was often necessary to take care of him just as one takes care of a small child. Tulsi Amma had rented a house from Basti Shanbaug in Mangalore. Being a young widow, she had to lead a very austere life, as was the societal norm of the time. Meeting Bhagawan Nityananda caused a complete transformation in her. She became intensely devoted to Bhagawan Nityananda and, through her renunciation, attained the state of elated dispassion. By the Grace of her Guru, Bhagawan Nityananda, her intense devotion and surrender gave rise to the constant, uninterrupted experience of Supreme Love within her own being.”